Five Minute Friday: Stretch

 

Now, set your timer, clear your head, for five minutes of free writing without worrying about getting it right.

1. Write for 5 minutes flat – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking.
2. Link back here and invite others to join in.
3. And then absolutely, no ifs, ands or buts about it, you need to visit the person who linked up before you & encourage them in their comments. Seriously. That is, like, the rule. And the fun. And the heart of this community..

OK, are you ready? Please give me your best five minutes on:::

Stretch…

It’s amazing to me these prompts always strike exactly home with where I am each week.

Stretch is really a word for what I am walking through this week.

As I pray through and look to what the Lord is putting before me, stretch is definitely the word I would use to describe it.

I have had a hair license for the last 7 years.  I did makeup for many years after I got out of hair school, but didn’t really try to pursue hair.

I have told myself for years that I did not want to do hair.  But every year or so I come back around to this thought… should I pursue using this license I worked so hard to earn and paid so much money to acquire.

Usually, I move on and decide not to go further than just flirting with the thought.  I have told myself for years that I don’t want to do hair.

This week, I feel like the Lord showed me that the statement that I don’t want to do hair is a lie.  It is a lie I tell myself so that I don’t have to admit I am afraid.  I am afraid to do hair.  There I said it out loud.  I am afraid.

I left the makeup industry several years ago and I believe that I needed to get away for a while and let the Lord tell me who I was in Him because I kind of lost myself in the beauty industry.  Then I went to this other extreme and became super granola.  I mean no makeup, grew out my hair and stopped coloring it.  I took that extreme all the way to almost scrubby.  I didn’t try to look nice at all.  I mean I was clean and groomed, but in the most wallflower, don’t pay attention to me way that I could.

Stop:

Well, I can’t just leave it there.  So, I will cheat.

I spent 2 great years working at Starbucks.  It was safe.  I didn’t have to wear makeup.  I wore plan clothes (long sleeves because of my tattoos); I wore a hat, grew out my hair, took out my earrings.  I looked like a totally different person.  I learned how to love people. I learned how to serve people.  I learned how to stop needing to impress people.  Then the time came that it was over.  It was time to leave.  Starbucks became a safe place for me to hide.  It was safe to make coffee.  I didn’t have to face my fear of disappointing people.  I didn’t have to put myself out there with hair/makeup and chance that someone might not like what I did.   I knew that to stay would be me choosing safety over obedience.  But even after I left, I have kept myself safely hidden way from the risk.

I have been in school taking my prerequisites to get into nursing school.  It has been fun and challenging, but yet again in a safe way.  I have a very easy time remembering things and learning.  I don’t have to really worry.  School is not risky for me.  It is very much a concrete pass/ fail.  Either you know the material or you don’t.  Mostly I know the material.  There isn’t risk involved.  I am an A student.

Here is where the stretch comes in.  I want to do hair.  I want to be confident with my cutting skills.  Color is easy for me, the cutting gives me anxiety.  Part time in the salon could actually help pay for the nursing school which I feel God told me to go do.

The truth is I want to have both licenses.

I want to be good at both.  I don’t like to fail.  That, I think, is why I tell myself and everyone else that I don’t want to do hair.

What if I fail???

I don’t want to be that girl who does things poorly, but thinks she does things good.  So, I take the cowards way out and lie to myself.

But…what if…I could use both my hair license and nursing license to minister to people who might otherwise not be able to be pampered and made to feel like a beautiful woman.  What…if…God wants to use both and I could get my hair confidence while I learned to be a great nurse.

Stretch…believe…step out…what if I could be a great hairdresser and a great nurse?  What if God wants me to be both, to use both?

Stretch means I will admit that I have been lying.  It means I will step out of my comfort zone and trust that He knows better than I do what I am capable of.   He knows better what He created me to be…to do.

Pursuing this…seeking the training and opportunities to gain the confidence and do this thing that I really do want to do, is a stretch.  It is way outside of what I “know” I can do.

I have reached the conclusion, though, that it just keeps coming up because I will never be content to let go and say I just couldn’t do it.  I have tried to be content and let it go, but there is something in me that will not let go and move on.  It is a whisper in the back of my mind that never goes away, “could I do it?”

 

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3 Responses to Five Minute Friday: Stretch

  1. your question is a great one! what if you fail? it will clarify what and who you really worship. it is a very important question. when you get to the bottom of that answer, you will have an idea re what motivates you…what really motivates a lot of your behavior. why you get angry or depressed at apparently small things.
    as believers we want to think that we love and worship GOD wholeheartedly…but when we are honest with ourselves, we find that often other loves interfere with that love. GOD is gracious and shows us a little at a time what is going on in our hearts. where those deeply rooted areas of loving things and people other than GOD pop up.
    what you have been learning and struggling with is valuable. I’ll be excited to hear how GOD uses you in the future…as well as now, for His glory:)

  2. Traci says:

    Fear is always hiding around the corner, waiting for us to step out so it can lure us back into its cage. The voice of the Lord is also always wooing us to step out, into His light, where the power of fear is exposed for what it really is, a lie. I want to encourage you to keep choosing to hear the Lord’s voice and to follow His leading. He will always lead us to the path of righteousness, freedom and joy in Him!

    ~traci
    xoxo

  3. kristi says:

    why not do both? either? I’ve noticed that no matter which direction you are being pulled in its something that involves an opportunity to talk with people and have a relationship with them.ya know,personal.Coloring someones hair? ok…theres atleast an hour that something may come out of your mouth someone will remember..taking someones vitals? another chance that your touch or a few simple words will leave an impression with a person.It’s quite obvious that you are not meant to be hidden.”God has not given me a spirit of fear and timidity,but of power,love and self-discipline”

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